While I refrain from writing about heavy, personal subjects, once in awhile, they call out to me and demand to be written about. As I interact with new people, I understand my dilemmas as a hyper functional introvert more. To put it briefly, I like to perform, I’m ambitious, and I’m usually a pleasant person to talk to but the thought of meeting new people gives me social anxiety and unknown situations lead me to social dystopia.
It may never be projected on the person in front of me because my hyperfunctional personality masks it. Often you’d take me as very extroverted, who may even be overbearing but I blame it on my need to overcompensate. The absolute worse thing for me is not your perception of me, it is a place where my bluff is caught.
So, I armour myself with the same bars that attempt to cage me.
Now, this is not really a bluff or a secret, I mean, I am writing about it on my blog, after all. However, I call it a bluff because that is also a part of my coping mechanism. Instead of depending or expecting on the person in front of me to accommodate my mind, I prefer to stay independent and thrive on my very vices – Hyper Functionality, Social Anxiety and Dystopia
I choose to use them as my armours instead of being caged behind them.
I do know quite a few people who share this kind of self-awareness with me. Who feel caged behind the bars of Hyper Functionality, Social Anxiety and Dystopia and yet make it work. To honour them and to maybe add something more, I decided to share this and also how exactly I trick my hyperfunctional dystopian mind to favour me instead.
After all, your thoughts aren’t your choice but how you interpret them can be.
1. Cage: Avoiding doing things or speaking to people out of fear of embarrassment
Armour: Be a strong observer and a good listener.
2. Cage: Expecting the worst possible consequences from a negative experience during a social situation
Armour: Weigh situations better, be triumphant over delusions, judge consequences of every action and make smarter decisions
3. Cage: Concern that you’ll offend someone
Armour: Read more, get informed, never be afraid to ask polite questions or learn what hurts or offends what kind of people.
4. Cage: Fear of situations in which you may be judged
Armour: Acknowledge how you feel, just as I’m not supposed to judge or offend someone, they aren’t supposed to do that to me either. So, choose a better company.
5. Cage: Worrying about embarrassing or humiliating yourself
Armour: Learn to laugh at yourself, you’re not perfect, no one is and no expects you to be. Learn to laugh off the cringe and even the witnesses will be more comfortable if you do mess up.
6. Cage: Spending time after a social situation analyzing your performance and identifying flaws in your interactions
Armour: Learn from your mistakes, if you didn’t like something you said or did try to understand what lead to it and you’d understand that it was a two-way interaction where the other person may or may not have instigated that reaction, if you still dislike it, change it the next time!
7. Cage: Fear of not being valued or your absence not being of importance
Armour: Say the right things to other people, understand that they may be feeling the same. Moreover, people treat you the way you treat them. So, if you make someone feel secure it is likely they do the same for you. However, despite this, understand that everyone has different way of showcasing emotions so even though someone would appreciate you, they won’t show it in the way you imagined or wanted it to be.
Well, these are my 7 cages that I turned to my 7 armours. Now, they not only help me cope better but also be a better person to people around me.
I do understand that even though these armours help me grow, they may not be a solution to every situation. Which is why, sometimes, I just take a step back and refresh everything or just give my mind some rest.
You see, that’s all right, too.
Feel free to tell me if you relate to this dilemma of Hyper Functionality, Social Anxiety and Dystopia and if yes, how you deal with it. For my ertsy travel in style adventures and some personal growth, stay tuned.